yaE-yaE-yaE... dog

Steev suggested a CRUDE FUTURES NAMING CONTEST for our new dog, a year-old border collie/hound mix whose name was HONEY when we got her a week ago. The naming contest was a GREAT idea, and I still think we should have one even though we've already named her MO.

Got any suggestions? If so, please comentario. MO is 55% black, 40% white, and 5% sandy brown (armpits). She weighs about 34 pounds and is well-behaved beyond expectation. She rarely barks, she knows how to sit, lay down, and stay (sometimes), and does not beg for food. She tucks her tail between her legs and tries to bolt when she's around loud vehicles -- especially buses and ice-cream trucks -- and heavier-set black people. ("Racist dog.") She'll fetch if she's in the mood, she's capable of running faster than me, and so far she's limited her chewing to the chew-toys we've given her. At night she sleeps in a "crate" (cage) and whines a little for a couple minutes before reverting to silence. She's barked fewer than 50 times in the past 7 days.

For four days, MO was a tentative name. I loved the name at first. I was the one who suggested it. But after a day or so of saying MO over and over, I worried that it was too plain. On Monday, at 3 am, I woke up sweating and thinking "we can't name her MO because it's too close to NO!" For ten minutes, until I fell back asleep, I was terrified by the MO/NO rhyme, certain we'd made a terrible mistake. By Wednesday, we both decided MO was a great name.

This past week I lazed around the house and the park with MO and read Sean Wilsey's memoir, Oh The Glory Of It All. I loved the book and I hated myself for reading and petting (usually half-clothed, or less) instead of working. I feel much more grounded in neighborhood-ness now that I've been walking around with a dog for a week. I don't know if I feel healthier. I'd better do more work this coming week than I did last week. Especially if I'm going to treat myself to a trip "home" to see my brother and his wife (my friend & Katie's best friend), my parents, and my grandparents in South Bend. The 19th is my brother's 28th birthday and Father's Day. My brother was born on Father's Day 1977.

In the (deservedly) glowing Dave Eggers blurb on the gorgeous dustjacket of Wilsey's book, there's a minor typo. The sentence "At one point I had to burn the second half of [the book] so I didn't distract myself from my own dumb deadlines." contains an extra space between the words "the" and "second". Is someone kicking themselves over this? I hope not. How about the misspelling of "censer" (as "censor") on page 470, during a Catholic funeral scene? Any swearing about this? I hope not. Crap like this is endearing. I hate typos when they're mine. I love that I'm not the only person who never catches them all.

Other dog names Katie & I shouted out as possibilities: LUCY (glad we didn't do this since we've met three LUCY dogs in the past week), GEORGE (our "backup," whatever that means), FANCY (immediate nix from Katie), GIRL (a "HAIR" too trendy?), DOGGS DOGGERSON: P.H. DOG (we both love calling her this, but yaknow). Actually, her official full name, which we'll never really use, will be: "ANNA MO," that mock-childish phonetic corruption of "ANIMAL." We used to think we might name a daughter of ours MO, but now we sure can't/won't.

Comments

[Publicado por: stevee]

hey Brian...if you answered my calls [instead of petting a dog, half-naked, all day!]. I could have continued my [heartfelt] diatribe AGAINST GIVING ANIMALS COMMON HUMAN FIRST NAMES...unless the dog is an actor, as well as your best friend, and you are developing a dog/buddy pilot ["Serge & Tito","Foxx & Hillary", etc. (dog names 2nd)].

that said...the 'chameleons' [anoles?] that I had ~4th grade were named Bart and Otto.

your comment about the dog-induced uptick of "neighborhoodness" is scary d00d!!! if our archivos would let me find it, I would refer you to your illustration-critique of contemporary Williamsburg. "My fixed-gear bike allows for convenient loft-hopping, I often get comments on my tattoos from passers-by, and the other day my wallet chain [Ed. wallet chain??!] got intertwined with a "stranger"'s, who turned out to be in my slow food collective!!!" --> "When you have a dog to pet, your annoyance at Al Di La's 'No Reservations' policy justs melts away!" I LOVE YOU BRIAN AND THIS IS NOT A CRITIQUE!!!

[Publicado por: Death Crab for Crudité]

Steve - If I wasn't "in glove" with a "wo"man who found this sort of Williamsburg youth trend as offensive as you do, I would tell you to SHUT UP. Let my people go? In other words, what's so bad about following trends? Don't you follow trends? What is "slow food"? That sounds interesting! Not that you're telling McM to stop following trends. In fact the whole williamsburg critique is as you mention Brian's. But... you... seem... so ANGRY about it. And you, sir, are GUILTY OF THEM?? And even though you're just playfully ribbing Brian for being more like other grownups in his neighborhood, I half-assedly, sleepily, and uncritically CHALLENGE your playful ribs. LEAVE BRIAN ALONE! DON'T DRAG MOMO INTO THIS!

also: I wake up in the middle of the night, mo-"no" rhyme-fear-style, sweating about the myriad typos I have introduced into the world. I have brought more typos into the world than anyone else in the world. I am the EARTH MOTHER GODDESS of typographical/factual errors. It chaps my Hyde--

[Publicado por: Sunny D v Willy B]

gracias para/por los "hogs y quiches"

[Publicado por: Sin Guante Sin Amor]

hey dood...this actually has nothing to do with my nod to mcM's Williamsburg critique [which I only brought up to woodshed my befuddlepuzzlement that one needs LIFESTYLE ACCOUTREMENTS TO FEEL "AT HOME" IN CERTAIN NEIGHBORHOODS (not saying Brian bought a dog "to belong" or that Brian is this shallow! nono!)], I accidently said this cogently to Emilio O. once when we were talking about his ex-g/f's uses/misuses of the bile-covered word hipster.but short & sweet? here's where the ANGER enters the picture:

The Reason I, and possibly yr Ladee Glove, are often moved to abdominal discomfort by elements of "Williamsburg culture" is because we are the only people who actually care about art, music, politics, etc. Everyone else just wants to get laid for wearing an x, reading x, listening to x. We, however, do them to find redemptive beauty in a near hopeless world...because we don't really see that much hope, esp. in Williamsburg!, but good songs/stories/blogs/novels/art are like intriguing myths about hope, love, beauty, and community? I DON'T FEEL POSSESSIVE, OR LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE FEEL POSSESSIVE, ABOUT MEDIA. it is rather depressing, however, to see something you love and which moves you reduced to the status of an ACCESSORY...see also Che tshirt, etc. I'm going to sleep now, only that I'm at work.

this is becoming memefirst for 21-26 y/oldz!!!

[Publicado por: light & healthy]

which of the following things are lifestyle accoutrements?
possible kitchen accoutrements:
juicer
cheese knife
"beehive" blender
gruyere
soymilk

possible living room accoutrements:
ikea bookshelf
playstation 2 system
lucky magazine
fassbinder criterion dvd set

possible bedroom accoutrements:
down comforter
a white tv

possible bathroom accoutrements;
sonic toothbrush
kiehl's products
natural jojoba shampoo

[Publicado por: stevee]

the ABOVE are all lifestyle accoutrements. but, AND I AM STILL NOT CRITIQUING BRIAN'S LIFE/LIFESTYLE, a $5 block of Gruyere hasn't opened up any neighborhood secrets, made me feel a greater sense of "community", or like I "belong more"!!!

pathetic and unlikely though it is, buying a roti or some sorrel probably does!!!

[Publicado por: Just to share]

Things I've noticed about my neighborhood since I got Mo:

• 3rd Street has particularly wide, pleasant sidewalks. (Now I have a preferred way to get from 7th Ave to 5th Ave.)

• 8th Ave & Prospect Park West (9th Ave, essentially) are both one-way streets

• Union Market (6th Ave & Union) is generous with free samples. I tasted a BS olive oil (NJOI-brand) correctly self-described as "grassy" the other day. A little girl next to me triple-dipped a bread slice into this overpriced brew(-coutrement).

[Publicado por: stevee]

yay!!! once again, in trademark crude futures fashion, Brian's hopeful, kind sharing of information breaks through my gloomy fogVeil of vaguely hateful insecurity!!! Andy, mcMu should have lived w/ us back @ colleg-a-versity...woulda been less fights?

FINAL CRITIQUES:
-Brian should have discovered the joyful mini-niceties of his neighborhood B4 he even got a dog.

-the olive oil was "self-described"???

[Publicado por: Umberto Eco]

I've been following your blog, boys, and I agree that NAMING is important [or arbitrary?]. That said...I've cleared out my afternoon in order to generate some names for your stateside pup:

-BONAVENTURE
-STOKELY
-'WAYANS'
-TOLEDO
-BOOTSY
-GRASSY
-TURNCOAT
-WHITEY
-'BLANC'-EY
-KATINHO
-LASSINHO
-SPROUNGE!
-TEST
-PUDDLES!
-LASHES!
-NATCH!
-PROB
-URAQT!
-SHABD

[Publicado por: Enjoy NJOI]

The blue label on the NJOI olive oil bottle said "grassy." So, "self-described."

There's also a red-label NJOI. I tasted & preferred it to the blue, but I forget what it tastes like & what it says it's supposed to taste like. The truly grassy flavor of the blue made me forget, maybe.

On the subject of NJOI olive oil: I wasn't going to say anything, but I had the idea to do a "Review of New Food" on these "red" and "blue" oils. The idea was, I'd consume (drink on the rocks?) entire bottles of NJOI red & blue while watching Krzysztof Kieslowski's correspondingly-colored films for the first time. (I'd just ignore "WHITE.")

To respond to Stv's other comment above:

I tend to be non-observant of my surroundings. I am bad at giving directions. The dog is helping me be more observant. I have no excuse for not knowing which nearby streets run which ways. I've lived in this apartment for 15 months.

(BTW: Through reading -- not dog-owning -- I just found out about olive-oil gelato for sale in Washington Square Park. Anyone ever had this? Anyone want to make a play date to go eat some?)

[Publicado por: georgia]

why don't you name the dog Paws? other names I like for dogs are Geiger and Pony.

[Publicado por: mcM]

I had a really good (whoops -- I first typed "doog") friend in high school named Amy Geiger. The first time I ever went skiing, Amy Geiger was my pal on the slopes. My parents took Amy and I on a junior-year tour of various colleges. My friend Mike also came along. Somewhere in Michigan, Mike and I held Amy down and filled her mouth with ORAJEL, numbing her for several minutes.

Amy's dad was a well-off doctor and an Ohio State football fanatic who looked and sounded like Phil Hartman. When I told him I was thinking about attending the [OSU rival] University of Michigan, he said "Please don't swear in my presence!" Ha ha.

About fifteen minutes later, when I again (casually) mentioned the U of M, he interrupted: "Brian! I asked you not to swear in my presence!" After this comment, 60+ seconds of silence. Really awkward!

Now: my parents and my brother all went to Ohio State, and all three of them have a healthy distaste for the U of M, but give me a break.

Amy and I "lost touch" shortly after this incident, but it wasn't because of her dad or ORAJEL.

[Publicado por: Hug Masterson]

Steve -- Brian has indeed caused me to hug you with forceful affection! Hooray for all of us. And thank you to Umberto Eco for providing spinewords for the next year!

[Publicado por:]

Despite my poor sense of direction, I knew about several neighborhood mini-niceties before the dog. I just know more now. Goodnight.

[Publicado por: stevee]

hugz! can't wait to hang with u, Brian, and buy you a Blue Sky muffin !!! seriously!!!

oh and dood my friend tony had yr song on his iPod!!!

love,

srv

[Publicado por: BM]

Oops, my last comment sounded pissed when in fact it was just cut off. Katie literally closed the laptop on me as I was typing, urging me to go to bed. Love absorbed & reciprocated, BM

[Publicado por: Ms. Peach]

Jones Michaels McMullen
The Hendersons Jackson
Nine
Delishnu
Chicken Chiller Jr.
John Finger
Motrin Ibuprofen
Luv M'Dog
Apple Strauss (My misunderstanding of the lyrics of George Harrison's "Apple Scruffs".)

[Publicado por: stevee]

name 'er LIL' FLIP!!!

[Publicado por:]

baseball names:

Harmona Killabrew
Al Kanine
Rollie Toes

non-baseball:

Starnetzia
Friendina
Beefa
Whistlenessa

[Publicado por: the vicar]

I was digging through the archives today, 09/15/05, and found this post, these comments. Now I'm listening to "Apple Scruffs".

[Publicado por: mcMüller]

I was digging through our search results today and came across this post. Boy is this an exemplary commentary thread.

[Publicado por: mcm]

I found this post again today, 8/11/09. Read all the comments. 2.5 years ago I was right: this is an exemplary comentario thread.

[Publicado por: guannuo321]

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[Publicado por: mbt schuhen]

MBT-Schuhe ist, wie das Wohlbefinden des K?rpers das Wohlbefinden der Gottlosen, es zu ?ndern? MBT Schuhe k?nnen die F?rderung des Wohlbefindens von K?rper Bewegung. Incite die Verwendung vernachl?ssigt Muskeln. Verbesserung der K?rperhaltung mbt schuh
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Heute, Fortschritte in der Leben und Tod Ebene von Zeit zu Zeit, Menschen Streben nach Fortschritt von Zeit zu Zeit, dann sind wir am meisten brauchen ist jetzt was? Natürlich, Wohlbefinden, und so jetzt, wenn die Leute Kleider, Schuhe, etc. kaufen, schrittweise Fokussierung auf die Wirksamkeit des Wohlbefindens der Schuhe, MBT-Schuhe, die allm?hlich die Liebe des Volkes erhalten haben. Allerdings mbt schuhe
Wohlbefinden der MBT-Schuhe, Kleidung, was nützt es? Wenn Sie das Wohlbefinden von MBT Wanderschuhe, vor allem im Sprunggelenk Bewegung, kann die Durchblutung zu f?rdern Kleid, stimulieren die Wadenmuskelpumpe Macht, und f?rdern die Durchblutung zurück zum Herzen aus den Beinen, wodurch die intravaskul?re Blutdruck, verringern mbt schuhen
geschwollene Beine und erleichtern die anf?ngliche Unbehagen . Allerdings kann MBT nicht behandeln Frakturen und Vene Ventilleckage! Mangelnde Bewegung kann zu Beinvenen Probleme und Wassereinlagerungen führen. Ventil in die Vene, um den Blutfluss wieder Hilfe von einer einzigen Richtung aus dem Herzen des Beines. Wenn das Ventil getr?nkt, wird Blut in den Beinen ansammeln. Performance der anf?ngliche Unbehagen müde, schwere Gefühl, Verspannungen und Verkrampfungen.