First Occasional Greeting Card Caption Contest

For Immediate Release:
Crude Futures is proud to announce its First Occasional Greeting Card Caption Contest. In this contest, c.f. readers look at a piece of original art (in this case, a photograph we shot today near Sahadi's) and propose greeting-card-friendly texts to accompany the art.

In Other Words:
Imagine that this photograph is on the front of a Hallmark-style greeting card. When you open the card, what pre-printed phrase(s) do you see inside? Tell us in the comentarios!



Grand Prize:
One or more Grand Prize winners will receive one postcard or greeting card from the collection of Crude Futures and $30 worth of Major Megabookstore store credit. Plus, if we actually print greeting cards using this photograph and your caption (and there's a good chance we'll do this), we'll print your name on the back of the card and give you as many of the printed cards as you want, along with premium-quality baronial envelopes and a sheet of 39¢ postage stamps.

Contest Deadline:
Sunday, October 8th

How long should my greeting card caption be?
All entries must consist of at least one word and should probably not exceed 2,000 words. (Flash fiction OK.)

Can I modify the art (adding visual elements or words to the photo) as part of my entry?
This is not encouraged. But sure, you can modify the art if you want to. But all entries must include a text-only caption for the inside of the greeting card. No "blank inside" submissions, please. If you change the artwork, you'll have to upload your new art somehow, then provide a link to the new art in the comentarios. This might be more trouble than it's worth.

Who will select the Grand Prize winner or winners?
Not sure yet. I might ask my mom, who has excellent taste, to help with the judging. Ideally, my co-bloggers (Steev and Shower Feelings and nos personnél) will all enter this contest. Whoever enters won't be a judge.

How will you notify me if I win?
By email. When you type your entry in the comentarios section below, be sure to include your best email address in the field marked "Correo electrónico." Winners will also be announced in a future blog post.

How many captions can I submit?
As many as you feel proud to share in this low-traffic public forum.

Example Entries:
1. You and me gotta stick together.
2. It chair was nice to meter you.
3. Please leave me alone.
4. I need help. Can you help me?
5. Happy birthday!
6. Congratulations graduate!

Comments

[Publicado por: katie]

1. It's nice to know that you'll stand beside me in spite of our differences.
2. Thanks for standing by me.
3. (Sister to sister) Did you ever notice how different we look? Still, I'm glad we're always together.

[Publicado por: Katie]

4. Chair up! This too will pass.

[Publicado por: Lynn]

"Wish you were here."

(That was obvious-Lynn)

[Publicado por: Jen]

I have this picture of us in my mind.

I know we were happy together.

Please forgive me.

[Publicado por: felix horrorwicky]

1. Time's up. The music has stopped. [and then some killer third bit.]

2. Wish you were chair.

3. I need a quarter. And a friend.

[Publicado por: Majestic Rentals]

Are you free this weekend? Do you like the way I roll? I'm sort of short but my five appendages are of equal length.

[Publicado por: Majestic Rentals]

2. Unemployment sucks.

3. You have nothing I need.

4. You have nothing I need, but I like your style.

5. I feel so useless around you.

6. The temporary nature of this relationship has been written all over your face since the beginning.

[Publicado por: Louie 93.5]

Could you love someone from the wrong side of the curb?

[Publicado por: Louie 93.5 (All Louie, All The Time)]

I will love you even when life is the color of a shitty sky.

[Publicado por: chimbly debloon]

1. (on the front with image) Dear failing college student - (inside) You're paying to be here

2. (front) Sure I'm lazy (inside) but I'm cheap!

3. Can I buy a minute of your time.

4. Sit down and make it quick. My time is money.

5. Comfort is money

6. Your ass is so money

7. This is how they pay Katie Couric too.

8. (to grandchild on your birthday) Sit down and listen to my stories... then you'll get your money

9. Times up Rep. Foley

[Publicado por: Andrew]

Blandishments! Blandishments! My whole diseased life is grayscale!

[Publicado por: chimbly debloon]

10. sometimes life's a grayscale

11. Park your butt a while and listen to me

12. When your therapist is too expensive, lean on a friend

[Publicado por: chimbly debloon]

I swear when I wrote number 10. I had not seen andrew's...

don't I have homework to be doing?

[Publicado por: Jayson]

"The Government banned a Christmas display, so I pushed this chair next to a parking meter instead"

or

1. His Fraudulency
2. Am-Bushed
3. Hail to the Theif
4. TX Cocaine Fratboy
5. Out with Arkansas Trash, In with Texas Class
6. John Ashcroft is a racits, sexist, pig
7. Not My President
8. Illigetimate sons of Democrats
9. Silenced Majority
10. Disanfranchised
11. Hail to George Bush, Our New Emperor
12. Selected not Elected
13. Bush-Wacked
14. Bush Dynasty - Jeb in 2008
15. I'm proud to be a Bushy
16. George Bush take your racist, sexist, anti-choice thugs & get the hell out
17. George Bush - America's Hitler
18. 152 Deaths so far by Bush
19. 1/7 death row inmates are innocent - 7/7 will be killed by gwbush
20. Planned Parenthood Exploit$ Women
21. Less Bush more Rock
22. Death to Right Wingers
23. Conservatism is not compassionate
24. Pornography is rape of the mind
25. Bush Stinks
26. RU486 RU Crazy?
27. No Abortions in Military hospitals
28. Re-elect president Al Gore
29. Bush Cheated
30. Clarence Thomas - The only black vote counted
31. Keep Abortion Legal
32. No "W"
33. I'm a ballot, don't confiscate me
34. Stop fetal tissue research

Religiously Themed

[Publicado por: Nicole]

1. I feel emptied without you.

2. If a better friend exists than you, I would like to meter.

3. Happy Hanukkah! Can I borrow some gelt?

4. Love is blind. And possibly has wheels.

5. Stick 'em up! Love Police!

[Publicado por: Katie]

A penny for your thoughts.

[Publicado por: unnecessary additional example (fr. mcMüller)]

Greetings from Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn. Have a seat.

(Jayson: why the flood of political bumpersticker sloganz?)

[Publicado por: Jayson]

Those are from signage (the carried around kind) that I saw way back when while in Washington DC. KatieZ bumper sticker reminded me of the list that I just recently found in a journal that I kept on that trip. I needed to write them somewhere permanent, fearing my wife might throw away the crappy old spiral bound notebook containing them. I didn't have anywhere else to put them really. Digital storage I guess.

Plus its totally meta-building so you should be happy!

[Publicado por: Andrew]

The city is a greyscale hellscape, but dear, when we make love, the world is sheer brightness, pastels poured ecstatically into flourescence. Your mouth is a kalidescope's paradise of colour and skin, and I love you.

[Publicado por: older n' older]

a) Back that ass up, girl.

b) Back that ASS up, gurrrrrl!

c) Our sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved grandparent.

d) Hey there fine-ass, why dontcha back it up and talk to me for a sec, here on the sidewalk?

[Publicado por: neil]

I don't know about you...

But I'm just waiting for the apocalypse,
or something.

[Publicado por: Chelsea]

Till my head gets chopped off and my spinny shiny brains spill out...
Till your popoid-like neck cracks and catches on skirts, and your wheels are all gimpy with dirty gum blobs...
Love you.

[Publicado por: Stevan]

You're fired!

[Publicado por: Kree]

You're going to pay for making me wait.

[Publicado por: Doctor Ooklyn]

People are necessary.