crude futures

Problem: Why Shiver?

From Bob Brown's More Science For You — 112 Illustrated Experiments (TAB Books, 1988). Illustrated by Frank W. Bolle.

Problem: A Yawn

From Bob Brown's More Science For You — 112 Illustrated Experiments (TAB Books, 1988). Illustrated by Frank W. Bolle.

The Pants Life Jacket

From Thomas Brezina's Tips & Tricks for Junior Detectives (Scholastic, 2001).

The Game's On Pause (mp3)

"The game's on pause. I'm looking at the strategy guide. It seems like all the items I have aren't usable."

The encouraging kiss of a disappointed Platonic friend

as seen in The Karate Kid Part III

Karate's Badboy "Tournament Terror" Mike Barnes effigy punch

as seen in The Karate Kid Part III

Crude Futures: Mike Barnes & Terry Silver

as seen in The Karate Kid Part III

cardboard Kreese, real Kreese

Site-specific "cardboard Kreese, real Kreese" karate technique, as performed in Terry Silver's rehabilitated Cobra Kai dojo:



as seen in The Karate Kid Part III

See also: Crude Futures's Superman III animated gifs.

Ben Jonson's prom date

Since Sunday I've been watching and rewatching the video for Shakespears Sister's "Stay":



I was surprised by some viewer comments on a "Stay" lip sync video:

hehe good job, even though this song used to scare the crap outta me as a child :)

oh yes.. I couldn't even listen to it on the radio, it freaked me out so much!

It hadn't occured to me that younger adults might remember "Stay" as a scary song. I guess I was too old (12) when "Stay" was released to be scared the crap out of by it. I thought the song was sexy. . . . It made me think of girls, and it fueled the hope that I might someday make out with one. (Check.)

Here are some things I think when I watch this music video today:

• "The lyrics remind me of Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction."
• "That deeper-voiced woman looks like Edward Scissorhands, Marilyn Manson, The Cure, Tim Burton, and other stuff like that. I wonder if Hot Topic sells a glittery outfit."
• "Maybe Katie and I could be Shakespears Sister for Halloween this year."
• "Some of the background sounds remind me of that song by Erasure — the one that goes Always I wanna be with you / And make believe with you / and live in HAR-mony HAR-mony HAR-mony and so forth."
• "I wonder about various dead school shooters' relationships to this song. Did the song scare them? Did they think it was sexy? Did it fuel their frustrated desires to make out with girls? Do they even remember the song? Katie didn't remember "Stay," and that surprised me. This song was a big hit in 1992. Number 5 on the charts, Wikipedia says."
• "In a way, I like the hair cut on the woman with the higher voice. Those sharp sideburns are cool. I also like the groomed asymmetry. It's a very stylized look, especially with the dark eye makeup and the red lipstick. Not bad."
• "The higher-voiced woman looks a little like Celine Dion. I think they're trying to make her look more feminine than she likes to appear in real life. She's kind of . . ."
• "It's hard to look away when the deeper-voiced woman is on screen. I find myself wanting to watch her part of the video again and again. Why?"
• "I don't think I really ever listened to the lyrics when I was 13. They're pretty sinister. Wow, a person really doesn't have to understand a song** — or even really try — to be entertained, motivated, moved, or otherwise be affected by it. (**Insofar as a song is 'understandable.')"
• "Where are they, Mars?"
• "How often am I entertained and motivated by things — like songs — that I don't or cannot understand?"
• "It's hard to guess how songs will affect someone."
• "That guy looks stupid."
• "Who is that guy? Is he an astronaut? Don't astronauts wear shirts in the future?"
• "Why isn't this song on iTunes?"
• "Maybe I'll buy a copy of Hormonally Yours on Amazon."

Melee Encounter: Steve Winwood

I don't know about you, but Steve Winwood and I are the same boys we used to be.