crude futures

"My first thought was, what the heck? Seriously."

I've been meaning forever to post about my heckish November '05 airplane experience. I'll let the South Bend Tribune tell you the story. (The reporters have a real ear for funny quotes, I think.)

THIS IS A TRUE STORY




PS: The Broom of the System is the novel I was reading when I heard the BANGBANGBANGBANG.

Poodle in the Henhouse (mp3)

BAND NAME
Poodle in the Henhouse

BAND MEMBERS
Adam "Roman à Kref" Krefman -- vocals and strings
Andrew "Andrew Leland" Leland -- vocals and drums
Brian """" McMullen -- vocals and additional percussion
Chris "Racist Southern Belle" Ying -- strings

TRACK TITLE
(click to download)
"Poodle in the Henhouse" (mp3)



LYRICS
What's this one called?
   Something...
      Poodle in the henhouse?
OK.

Is the henhouse empty?
   Nah, there's a poodle in it.
Is the poodle alive?
   Nah, there's a poodle in it.
Is the poodle alive?
   I think there's a poodle in it.
Only one way to find out....

Fire
and a poodle
in the henhouse.

Poodle in the henhouse.
Poodle in the henhouse.
Poodle in the henhouse.

Poodle in the henhouse.
Poodle in the backhouse.
All rise all you jetheads.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock... tock.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Tick tock, tick tock.

Hey mom where's the poodle?
   I never seen a poodle in my life.
      I don't know what it means.

Albino chicken. Albino poodle. Albino hen.
   And it's making me upset.
   It's making me sad.
Albino farmer. Albino farmhand.
   It's making me sad.

Waah waah waah.

DATE RECORDED
January 21, 2008

ADDITIONAL IMPROVISED SONGS FROM THIS SESSION
"It Sometimes Isn't Very Fun"

gone brow

From the creator of Himhole & Crubbix comes Gunbrows

skutch rabinck

skutch, rabinck.
skutch, rabinck.
skutch,
skutch,
rabinck.
skutch, rabinck.
skutch, rabinck.
skutch, rabinck.
skutch,
rabinck.
skutch, rabinck.
skutch, rabinck.
skutch, rabinck.
skutch, rabinck.
skutch, rabinck.

African soccer: tiny tidings

is anybody out there watching the 2008 African Nations Cup presented to you by the people of Ghana and 16 African footballing/soccer-ing nations?! group stages roll on this week...[NIGERIA & SENEGAL STRUGGLING...ANGOLA SHINING!...WC '10 HOSTS-to-be S. AFRICA SUCK]. KNOCKOUT roundz begin Feb 3rd if you wanna catch 'em! Ghana (those hansome men below) have already qualified. catch up with it as you please, perhaps even dip a toe into this FOTO GALLERY, or go all out and visit an African-friendly torrent thingy. bye!

PS soccer bonus story: last week this story broke (REALLY well-written article, *MUST*READ*) and then over the weekend opposition fans sung derisively about how he wears a bra on his head.

still moonlightin' for TimeFlux

The TimeFlux folks asked us to go back to the drawing board. Here's an exclusive Crude Futures glimpse at our second-round logotype recommendation!

TIMEFLUX LOGOTYPE #2

It Sometimes Isn't Very Fun (mp3)

BAND NAME
Poodle in the Henhouse

BAND MEMBERS
Adam "Krefmaster General" Krefman -- strings
Andrew Leland -- shaker and percussion
Brian "mcMüller" McMullen -- vocals and percussion
Chris Ying -- strings

TRACK TITLE
(click to download)
"It Sometimes Isn't Very Fun" (mp3)



LYRICS
It sometimes isn't very fun
But you go along with it
And when you're the guest you don't complain
Because a time will come when you'll be the host
And when you're the host you'll get to plan the trips
     or the evening.

Until such a time arrives
You'll go with the plan that you got
And the plan that you've got isn't fun
And it's okay, it's okay, it's part of your life.

It's part of your liiiife.
It's how you make me feeeeel, it's how you make me feel,
    sometimes.

And what I'm saying is it's a relationship we have that works
Because the times that I feel like this are redeemed by the times that I don't feel like this.
The times I feel like this are redeemed by the times that
I don't feel like this.
    (Oh sue me.)
The times that I feel like this are redeemed by the times that I don't feel like this.
Don't you agree?

Sometimes I feel like this....

DATE RECORDED
January 21, 2008

moonlightin' for TimeFlux

In December, a new time-travel company called TimeFlux asked us to help them develop a brand identity. Here's an exclusive Crude Futures glimpse at our first-round logotype recommendation!

TIMEFLUX LOGOTYPE


LOGOTYPE ANIMATION TEST


BONUS ELEMENT:
TIMEFLUX REVERSE HOURGLASS™

Free: Janet Malcolm quote postcards

I'm a longtime fan of Janet Malcolm's book-length essay The Journalist and the Murderer. The book asserts that journalists merely eat their subjects like sinburgers.

"Subjects are tasty human sinburgers whom we, journalists, chew up and digest in order to excrete stories," she says (not in those words). "Is this really so surprising?," she asks (nitw). "It is surprising," she says (nitw), "even though we journalists do it all the time."

When I reread TJATM over the holidays, I noticed a passage that I thought would make a funny, fun-to-mail postcard:


Earlier this month I designed the postcard, then wrote to Janet Malcolm and asked her if she'd give me her blessing to publish it with The Believer. I was very pleased (and sort of surprised, frankly) when Ms. Malcolm wrote back a few days later:

Dear Brian McMullen, It's fine to use the quote on your postcard. The typeset version looks good. Best wishes, Janet Malcolm

Just this evening I received, from the printer, an advance box of the postcards. I can't wait to send a stack to the redoubtable Ms. Malcolm! She said she'd be glad to have a few:

Dear Brian, I'd be glad to have a few of the postcards.

I hope she gets a kick out of them (and uses them!).

POSTCARD TEST DRIVE (w/soul patch)


IF YOU, TOO, WOULD BE GLAD TO HAVE A FEW OF THESE POSTCARDS . . .
. . . then we are both nerds. Please write to me at "brianmcmullen [At-Symbol] hotmail.com" with your best mailing address. I'll do my best to get 'em out the door in a timely fashion. (You'll get the "non-illustrated" version of the card. The one pictured near the top of this post.)

PS: More Believer postcards.

Himhole #2

Jordan Bass drew the "haberdasher" character in this Him-hole drawing. Crubbix, Him-hole's dog, is currently home alone.