TITLE OF PROPOSED SITCOM: I'll Show Me
EPISODE LENGTH: 22 mins
WHERE THE SITCOM TAKES PLACE: In a two-bedroom apartment
WHERE THE APARTMENT IS LOCATED: Tackton, Missouri — a fictional St. Louis suburb
CHARACTER: There is one character in the sitcom — Leopold Woodmansee, a.k.a. "Me"
ACTOR: I'd like to recommend myself for the role of "Me." My name is Brian Neal McMullen, a.k.a. "mcMüller" of the blog
crude futures.
MORE ABOUT BRIAN NEAL MCMULLEN: I am 29 years old and I own a laptop computer.
WHAT THE SHOW'S OPENING CREDITS LOOK LIKE: First, I wake up and I roll out of bed quickly, without stretching. Cut to me...
starting a pot of coffee. Cut to me...
getting dressed. Cut to me...
sitting down at my home-office desk (adjacent to my wardrobe) and opening my laptop computer. The title of the show — "I'll Show Me" — is revealed on the laptop screen. Camera holds on the laptop screen as I get up and leave the frame (to prepare myself a cup of coffee).
WHAT THE SHOW IS ABOUT: Each episode chronicles a day in the life of Leopold Woodmansee ("Me"), a man who sits at home by himself and tries to get important work done on his laptop computer.
A GOLDEN THREAD THAT CONNECTS ALL EPISODES: In every episode, somewhere around the halfway point, Leopold becomes very discouraged. This clockwork discouragement leads to the climax of every episode. The climax comes when Leopold says his favorite phrase — "
I'll Show Me" — out loud. After he speaks this phrase, he tries to "show himself."
"SHOW HIMSELF" WHAT? Leopold tries to show himself—by finishing his work—that he is a competent and even wonderful human being. In other words, Leopold buckles down and makes a final push to finish his important work before the end of the episode.
DOES LEOPOLD SUCCEED AT "SHOWING HIMSELF" — BY FINISHING HIS WORK — THAT HE IS, IN FACT, A COMPETENT AND EVEN WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING? Yes or no, depending on the episode. Sometimes Leopold successfully completes his work; other times, he fails. Sometimes, the viewer is left to decide whether Leopold has succeeded or failed. In any event, at the end of every episode, Leopold remains alive.
THE FIRST (AND ONLY) SCENE OF EVERY EPISODE: Every episode opens with "Me" (Leopold Woodmansee) sitting at "my" laptop computer, working on a project. I almost always get shown wearing an intense look on my face, as if I'm concerned about whether I'm doing a good job.
MORE ABOUT THIS SCENE: For 22 minutes, the camera cuts between two angles: (1) a shot of my furrowed face; (2) an over-the-shoulder shot of my laptop screen. All the while, the viewer hears my internal monologue. I might be singing to myself; I might be calling myself bad names; I might be telling myself a joke; or (if I'm writing something) I might be reading and commenting on what I'm typing.
HOW DOES THE SHOW REMAIN FRESH OVER TIME? By always innovating on the internal monologue. Also, Leopold's "important work" will vary from episode to episode. Plenty of room for experimentation here.
WHAT LEOPOLD'S "IMPORTANT WORK" IS: Could be anything. That's the "beauty" of a laptop computer. In Episode J, I'm trying to write an essay. In Episode M, I'm trying to draw a picture. In Episode Q, I'm trying to design a book. In Episode T, I'm trying to record a song. In Episode V, I'm trying to edit a film. In Episode Y, I'm trying to mend a relationship via Internet chat. In Episode Z I'm trying to do my taxes.
ANOTHER GOLDEN THREAD THAT CONNECTS ALL EPISODES: In every episode of "I'll Show Me," I'm sitting pretty still the whole time, or almost the whole time. I'm almost always alone, I'm almost always inside, and I'm almost always looking at a computer screen and performing a combination of these actions: staring, thinking, moving my hands, drinking (usually coffee), narrating, eating (usually breakfast or lunch), breathing.
